While I can be a bit dramatic for the sake of humor or for the sake of being bitter, this really isn't that bad. Do I miss bread and cookies? I'll keep it clean and just go with yes. :) How about cheese or margaritas? If you don't know the answer to this question, you don't know me.
Currently, I'm getting ready for tomorrow's 7:00 AM presentation for Open Enrollment and what I wouldn't give for a coconut latte to have in hand before it begins. This means I'll be getting up at 4:30 AM...on purpose. Cadence and Camp House, I miss you from the depths of my soul. Will power is a funny thing and it amazes me how much of an effort it requires. Planning. Yes, I have to plan to have will power. If I don't, I'll fail and give in to a fleeting moment of temptation or as I like to call it, tots from U-Joint. If you haven't had them, I feel sorry for you. Where was I? Oh...planning. I either have a cup (Or 4) of coffee at the office or I take my bubba keg full of it from the house to enjoy over the course of the day. It takes everything within me to not stop and get my latte of choice periodically like I used to. Sure, to you it's might be fancy coffee but to me, it's joy in a cup. Choosing to have will power is just that, a choice and it's been having some great consequences like feeling as though I don't have to have junk food when I'm not even hungry. I am stopping when I'm full and only eating when I'm hungry. This could be common sense to you but to me, it's where I've found comfort at times and that led to just bad habits on my part or just out of plain boredom.
I've asked myself where this battle with food came from on many occasions. What I've concluded is that it's from trying to satisfy or complete a longing for depth in my life that can only be found in Christ. If a guy hurt my feelings, there's always chocolate. If someone in authority over me tried to control or tell me something to do that I didn't agree with, I could at least control my food. Ultimately though, food can't complete us nor can we "control" it in that regard. When it gets to that point, it's an idol and something that eventually controls us. We are only fulfilled by Christ. Not another person, a job, food, a bank account or anything else. He alone defines us and it's when we are focused on Him alone that we can move forward in self control (as well as the other fruits of the Spirit) and learn what freedom really is. So in all actuality, this Whole30 thing doesn't suck after all. It is teaching me so much about myself and about what it is to walk in obedience to God.
No matter what it is you're battling right now, know that it doesn't have to control you or define you. Christ wants to walk through life with you so that you can be in that communion with Him. Each day is a choice to start anew and trust in the fact that each thought (& bite) are to be held captive and turned over to Him. You are loved. You are worthy. You are forgiven. All by the blood of Christ. Keep going, friends.
Monday, October 26, 2015
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
Day 10: I'm Alive & Not In Jail
Saturday I started to wonder if I had died and gone to hell because I was setting out Chick-Fil-A Chick-N-Minis and wasn't able to eat any. Y'all, not even ONE! The accountability with this has been amazing and I'm so grateful because it's keeping me intentional about thinking before I eat. If only I did that more when it came to speaking. That means this is getting easier at times because while Chick-N-Minis would be a wonderful thing to enjoy, I don't HAVE to have them. Granted, I probably would have said otherwise two weeks back. It's an encouraging feeling to be seeing that these foods don't complete me because they were never meant to. I feel good on the inside and the out. I just rolled my eyes at that statement but it's true. My smile even seems brighter as well as my skin...so those are even better perks that I'd like to keep!
Ironically enough, I don't dislike people or life as much as I had expected to. I have to say, it's a pleasant surprise and has come in handy considering some of the things happening on and off through each day at the office. Sugar, like a drug, can really impact moods and I'm glad to be seeing that with this journey.
Ultimately, this is showing me that I don't NEED the junk. While it looks, smells and seems oh so good, it could very well lead to shame, destruction and death. It's like sin. No, I'm not saying eating junk food is a sin, unless it's gluttony, but I'm saying that it can get to that point for me. Also, that sin is flashy, appealing and downright fun at times. It comes at a cost that is all too often accompanied by the shame, destruction and death mentioned above. I don't know about you but I hate living with limitations. My weight, how I feel about said weight and my heart are all restricted because of the ways I had been choosing to live (eat). Regardless as to the weight loss that will be coming (so they say) with this, I feel better already and don't want to trade that for a fleeting moment that comes with junk. Down the road there will be some little indulgences but it will have to be on the very rare occasions because I know what I can and shouldn't have.
I'm keeping this short and sweet and will finish by saying that food doesn't define us, it wasn't created to. The same goes for people (spouse, child, friend and etc.). We were created to long for Christ and he alone completes us. Let's walk in the freeing reminder today. Psalm 63 goes into detail about how David longed for God to satisfy him because it was only He that could provide. That longing that we have can't be filled by anything other than Christ. We can try but it won't work because we're left wanting more of everything else but when we truly have Him, we are satisfied. Oh what sweet truth!
Ironically enough, I don't dislike people or life as much as I had expected to. I have to say, it's a pleasant surprise and has come in handy considering some of the things happening on and off through each day at the office. Sugar, like a drug, can really impact moods and I'm glad to be seeing that with this journey.
Ultimately, this is showing me that I don't NEED the junk. While it looks, smells and seems oh so good, it could very well lead to shame, destruction and death. It's like sin. No, I'm not saying eating junk food is a sin, unless it's gluttony, but I'm saying that it can get to that point for me. Also, that sin is flashy, appealing and downright fun at times. It comes at a cost that is all too often accompanied by the shame, destruction and death mentioned above. I don't know about you but I hate living with limitations. My weight, how I feel about said weight and my heart are all restricted because of the ways I had been choosing to live (eat). Regardless as to the weight loss that will be coming (so they say) with this, I feel better already and don't want to trade that for a fleeting moment that comes with junk. Down the road there will be some little indulgences but it will have to be on the very rare occasions because I know what I can and shouldn't have.
I'm keeping this short and sweet and will finish by saying that food doesn't define us, it wasn't created to. The same goes for people (spouse, child, friend and etc.). We were created to long for Christ and he alone completes us. Let's walk in the freeing reminder today. Psalm 63 goes into detail about how David longed for God to satisfy him because it was only He that could provide. That longing that we have can't be filled by anything other than Christ. We can try but it won't work because we're left wanting more of everything else but when we truly have Him, we are satisfied. Oh what sweet truth!
Friday, October 16, 2015
Day 6: Challenges Are Everywhere
I do feel okay considering the shock I'm putting my body through right now. I'm not super lethargic and I think the fact that coffee is allowed is helping with that. Can you imagine no coffee mixed with the rest of this? What kind of life would that be? A horrible one I tell you. Yesterday seemed to go really well and I was excited. While the cravings haven't left yet, it was getting easier in some ways.
Reality hit after leaving the nail salon last night. I walked out and smelled the Mexican restaurant next door. Dreams of chips, queso and margaritas danced in my head. I'm a weak woman. I went straight to my car and had to run an errand before going home. Used to, it would be so easy to cheat at that point because I could eat the junk food of my choosing and no one would know. In all reality though, it would be evident in the way I felt, the fact I wasn't losing weight and that I was lying to myself with that. There's too much on the line here and it's more than just weight, it's a commitment to myself and a test in self control. No matter what it is that you battle, self control and the lack thereof come in many forms.
Got to work this morning and BAM! A co-worker brought in Dunkin' Donuts this morning. You know those really dramatic GIFs where someone flips a table and leaves a room? I didn't do that but I did consider it. All in good fun, of course. :) I'm having to stay intentional about this, with every thought. It's all I can do not to yell, "GET THEE BEHIND ME SATAN" every time someone offers me junk food...and it's only day 6! Not only am I taking every thought captive, I'm doing it with every bite as well. There was conviction that followed the thought process this morning as I'm trying to be so intentional about being healthy and making the choices I know I need. If only we pursued Christ with so much intention. With our focus on Him more than food, work, the hot guy at the coffee shop, someone's opinion of us. That's why I'm doing this...to rid the idol that food has become and to eat to live, rather than living to eat. What are the idols that get between you and Christ? I'd like to challenge you to pray about that and move forward with intentionality of pursuing Him first and making the choice each day to love Him most because without Him, I don't know how it could be done.
Reality hit after leaving the nail salon last night. I walked out and smelled the Mexican restaurant next door. Dreams of chips, queso and margaritas danced in my head. I'm a weak woman. I went straight to my car and had to run an errand before going home. Used to, it would be so easy to cheat at that point because I could eat the junk food of my choosing and no one would know. In all reality though, it would be evident in the way I felt, the fact I wasn't losing weight and that I was lying to myself with that. There's too much on the line here and it's more than just weight, it's a commitment to myself and a test in self control. No matter what it is that you battle, self control and the lack thereof come in many forms.
Got to work this morning and BAM! A co-worker brought in Dunkin' Donuts this morning. You know those really dramatic GIFs where someone flips a table and leaves a room? I didn't do that but I did consider it. All in good fun, of course. :) I'm having to stay intentional about this, with every thought. It's all I can do not to yell, "GET THEE BEHIND ME SATAN" every time someone offers me junk food...and it's only day 6! Not only am I taking every thought captive, I'm doing it with every bite as well. There was conviction that followed the thought process this morning as I'm trying to be so intentional about being healthy and making the choices I know I need. If only we pursued Christ with so much intention. With our focus on Him more than food, work, the hot guy at the coffee shop, someone's opinion of us. That's why I'm doing this...to rid the idol that food has become and to eat to live, rather than living to eat. What are the idols that get between you and Christ? I'd like to challenge you to pray about that and move forward with intentionality of pursuing Him first and making the choice each day to love Him most because without Him, I don't know how it could be done.
Wednesday, October 14, 2015
No Piece of Cake...
Well, it's safe to say that this is no piece of cake. Although, if you have some cake, I'd be more than happy to take it off your hands. :) I kid, I kid.
Reading every label is more important that I expected it to be because there is some form of sugar in practically EVERYTHING. I was looking at a label for vegetable broth the other night and it contains various types of sugar and used a science-y name for one of them. Before people start getting crabby and telling me that sugar isn't bad as long as it's in moderation, calm down. I'm trying to follow guidelines and I'm not dissing your way of life or eating. Now, moving on. Label reading is more crucial than I anticipated but I have to admit, I've been sleeping better already and I'm only on day 4! I'm feeling clearer minded and just better in general aside from a few detox symptoms.
Since yesterday's post about the start of this Whole 30 kick, there have been many questions about the basis of it and it also brought accountability to me. I was at a ministry meeting last night and there were what looked to be chest bars. YUM! Because I'm weak and lack self control, had I not been open about this, I would have been more inclined to eat one (or two). I took my own dinner of baked chicken, zucchini and squash that had been baked on Sunday and didn't feel deprived or as though I was missing out. That accountability kept me in line with what I've set out to do and I'm grateful for the questions asked and the encouragements from those sweet women.
I thought I was in the clear until I won baked goods made by a dear friend and let me tell you...she is quite the baker! I gave those away to a co-worker this morning and come to find out, a different co-worker brought in pastries. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't tempted to not speak to said co-worker for the rest of the day. I look forward to when cravings of wine, cheese and bread go away. Oh and cake, too.
Alas, this is the start of day 4 and I firmly believe that those of us doing this will succeed in finding that satisfaction in Christ and not the cravings. Here's to a new day and even more victories!
Reading every label is more important that I expected it to be because there is some form of sugar in practically EVERYTHING. I was looking at a label for vegetable broth the other night and it contains various types of sugar and used a science-y name for one of them. Before people start getting crabby and telling me that sugar isn't bad as long as it's in moderation, calm down. I'm trying to follow guidelines and I'm not dissing your way of life or eating. Now, moving on. Label reading is more crucial than I anticipated but I have to admit, I've been sleeping better already and I'm only on day 4! I'm feeling clearer minded and just better in general aside from a few detox symptoms.
Since yesterday's post about the start of this Whole 30 kick, there have been many questions about the basis of it and it also brought accountability to me. I was at a ministry meeting last night and there were what looked to be chest bars. YUM! Because I'm weak and lack self control, had I not been open about this, I would have been more inclined to eat one (or two). I took my own dinner of baked chicken, zucchini and squash that had been baked on Sunday and didn't feel deprived or as though I was missing out. That accountability kept me in line with what I've set out to do and I'm grateful for the questions asked and the encouragements from those sweet women.
I thought I was in the clear until I won baked goods made by a dear friend and let me tell you...she is quite the baker! I gave those away to a co-worker this morning and come to find out, a different co-worker brought in pastries. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't tempted to not speak to said co-worker for the rest of the day. I look forward to when cravings of wine, cheese and bread go away. Oh and cake, too.
Alas, this is the start of day 4 and I firmly believe that those of us doing this will succeed in finding that satisfaction in Christ and not the cravings. Here's to a new day and even more victories!
Tuesday, October 13, 2015
Just Start...Let's Do This
A very dear friend of mine has been doing the Whole 30 program for a few months and she has seen incredible results from all of her discipline and hard work. She feels so great and her results lit a fire under me to stick to something...so here we go!
It's no secret that I battle with food and (lack of) exercise. I make food more of a priority than working out and let it rule a lot of what I do. Ultimately, it is an idol and that's got to stop here. I love getting comments on my hair and make up and the cute outfits and jewelry I wear but I would be lying if I said I didn't miss the way I felt when I had lost weight back in 2009. I want to do this for me. To honor God with the body He's given me and to make those changes to make the most out of life. I don't know about you but I certainly don't want to be limited because of how I feel physically or because I'm too big. I'm not saying bigger people should be treated differently but I do think that there are too many campaigns out there that are embracing an unhealthy lifestyle when it comes down to it. I don't want to settle for being a lesser version of myself because of my size or how I feel...I want to make the most of each opportunity given and refuse to be limited in the process. The choice is mine on how to move forward and resist the things that tempt me or that are convenient. The longing is to rid my life of the idols that take precedence over God and that I've allowed to lead me more than Him.
So here's to starting (again) and doing things right. Throughout the process I will be sharing thoughts, feelings and probably rants because I miss the occasional cupcake and glass(es) of wine. Let's do the Whole 30 At Thirty!
It's no secret that I battle with food and (lack of) exercise. I make food more of a priority than working out and let it rule a lot of what I do. Ultimately, it is an idol and that's got to stop here. I love getting comments on my hair and make up and the cute outfits and jewelry I wear but I would be lying if I said I didn't miss the way I felt when I had lost weight back in 2009. I want to do this for me. To honor God with the body He's given me and to make those changes to make the most out of life. I don't know about you but I certainly don't want to be limited because of how I feel physically or because I'm too big. I'm not saying bigger people should be treated differently but I do think that there are too many campaigns out there that are embracing an unhealthy lifestyle when it comes down to it. I don't want to settle for being a lesser version of myself because of my size or how I feel...I want to make the most of each opportunity given and refuse to be limited in the process. The choice is mine on how to move forward and resist the things that tempt me or that are convenient. The longing is to rid my life of the idols that take precedence over God and that I've allowed to lead me more than Him.
So here's to starting (again) and doing things right. Throughout the process I will be sharing thoughts, feelings and probably rants because I miss the occasional cupcake and glass(es) of wine. Let's do the Whole 30 At Thirty!
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