Day 16: Maybe This Doesn't Suck After All

While I can be a bit dramatic for the sake of humor or for the sake of being bitter, this really isn't that bad.  Do I miss bread and cookies?  I'll keep it clean and just go with yes.  :)  How about cheese or margaritas?  If you don't know the answer to this question, you don't know me. 

Currently, I'm getting ready for tomorrow's 7:00 AM presentation for Open Enrollment and what I wouldn't give for a coconut latte to have in hand before it begins.  This means I'll be getting up at 4:30 AM...on purpose.  Cadence and Camp House, I miss you from the depths of my soul.  Will power is a funny thing and it amazes me how much of an effort it requires.  Planning.  Yes, I have to plan to have will power.  If I don't, I'll fail and give in to a fleeting moment of temptation or as I like to call it, tots from U-Joint.  If you haven't had them, I feel sorry for you.  Where was I?  Oh...planning.  I either have a cup (Or 4) of coffee at the office or I take my bubba keg full of it from the house to enjoy over the course of the day.  It takes everything within me to not stop and get my latte of choice periodically like I used to.  Sure, to you it's might be fancy coffee but to me, it's joy in a cup. Choosing to have will power is just that, a choice and it's been having some great consequences like feeling as though I don't have to have junk food when I'm not even hungry.  I am stopping when I'm full and only eating when I'm hungry.  This could be common sense to you but to me, it's where I've found comfort at times and that led to just bad habits on my part or just out of plain boredom.

I've asked myself where this battle with food came from on many occasions.  What I've concluded is that it's from trying to satisfy or complete a longing for depth in my life that can only be found in Christ.  If a guy hurt my feelings, there's always chocolate.  If someone in authority over me tried to control or tell me something to do that I didn't agree with, I could at least control my food.  Ultimately though, food can't complete us nor can we "control" it in that regard.  When it gets to that point, it's an idol and something that eventually controls us.  We are only fulfilled by Christ.  Not another person, a job, food, a bank account or anything else.  He alone defines us and it's when we are focused on Him alone that we can move forward in self control (as well as the other fruits of the Spirit) and learn what freedom really is.  So in all actuality, this Whole30 thing doesn't suck after all.  It is teaching me so much about myself and about what it is to walk in obedience to God.

No matter what it is you're battling right now, know that it doesn't have to control you or define you.  Christ wants to walk through life with you so that you can be in that communion with Him.  Each day is a choice to start anew and trust in the fact that each thought (& bite) are to be held captive and turned over to Him.  You are loved.  You are worthy.  You are forgiven.  All by the blood of Christ.  Keep going, friends.